Overwhelmed

Today I feel totally overwhelmed, in a good way. I am overwhelmed by the lovingkindness of my Heavenly Father. I’m overwhelmed by His handiwork.  I am overwhelmed by His blessings.

I am at this strangely content place in life. I wish that I could say I am always content. I struggle with being still and waiting. I always want to know what’s going to happen next. I can get way ahead of things in my mind. But right now, I just feel at peace. I am okay with whatever happens next.

I remember another time when I was overwhelmed, in a scary way. I went in to the hospital to have my son, Nathaniel. The doctor had some concerns about him and decided to deliver him early due to a “gut feeling.” I was extremely worried about him and on top of that, I began having vasovagal. I never had that before and it was terrifying, which caused me to panic. My chest felt like it had a huge weight on it I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing and my baby’s heart rate was dropping. Everything around me was a blur, but as I lay on the operating table being prepped for a c-section, the anesthesiologist  leaned over and started stroking my face. In her foreign accent she said, “There, there. You are just a little highly strung. Relax.” In my panicky state, I comprehended what she said and got a little mad. I thought, “You’d be a little highly strung if it was you laying here!” They quickly delivered my son and discovered that his chord had a tight knot in it. Later the doctor told me that if we had waited even two more days, it could have been too late. I learned two things that day. First, I really am a little highly strung at times. (Though it took a while for me to admit it) Second, I can trust God. He had a plan for my son and He gave that doctor that gut feeling.

Admittedly I have been a little highly strung lately as I wait on the arrival of another son. However, over the past two weeks I have been able to take a deep breath and just trust that God is in control and his timing is perfect. Thank You, Father.  I know you have a plan. I trust You and I rest in the overwhelming knowledge that You are in control.

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