My Love Dare Part 2:Hospitality
What do you do when you have guests coming for dinner? If you are like me. you start scrambling! I clean the bathrooms, sweep the floors, get out the nice tablecloth and cook a nice meal, complete with fresh bread and dessert. Then before the guests arrive, I run to my room to brush my hair and freshen up. I make sure the kids have clean faces and decent clothes on. Then, as I hear the guests driving up our long gravel driveway, I light some candles and put on the finishing touches. Then, I attempt to hide my breathlessness as I greet our guests at the door. Is that what it’s like at your house?
A few months ago my husband was watching me do the pre-guest scramble and he commented that he wished I would make the house look that nice for him. At the time, I confess, I sort of rolled my eyes at him. However, that statement has stuck with me and I’ve been thinking about it a lot.
The truth is, my husband has often come home to dirty faces, a stressed-out wife, and a messy house. My husband works 11 or 12 hour days sometimes. He should be able to be refreshed when he walks through the door of our home. So, as a part of my love dare, I have decided to be more hospitable to my husband.
I’m on week 2 of this challenge. Before my husband comes home, we do a pick up of the house, eliminating the clutter that my husband loathes. I dim some lights and light some nice smelling candles. I am already noticing a big difference in my husband and in our entire household. It is simply more relaxed. Last night we all sat in the living room and talked. I am enjoying the warmness of our home as well. I feel truly able to sit and enjoy my family in the evenings.
As far as evening meals, I am not cooking gourmet meals, but I am trying to cook what I know my husband likes. He loves soups and stews, and i keep that in mind as I plan my weekly menu. Last week I planned a special surprise. My husband really loves Indian food, so I made chicken curry. It turned out pretty good, and my husband enjoyed it. A few times a week the kids and I have been making a special treat. On Wednesday we made an apple cake. Tonight we are having family night, and I am going to let the kids make and decorate some fall cookies. I’m no Betty Crocker and I’m not spending hours in the kitchen. I’m just doing little things, but those little things mean a lot, not just to my husband, but to everyone in our home.
Here’s a funny story. Last weekend the house got a bit messy. I could see my husband tensing up, which right away makes me tense up. He took the kids outside with him while he chopped some wood. I took advantage of those kid free moments to clean up the house. I picked up, I swept the floor. I wiped some fingerprints off the appliances and I mopped. In my mind, the house still needed a good cleaning, but I did what I could with the time I had. My husband had brought me home some beautiful flowers the night before. i decided to accentuate their beauty by pulling out a nice tablecloth and sitting them in the middle of the table. I lit some candles and tried to make the house warm and inviting. My husband and kids all walked in the door and looked around in amazement. There were lots of oohs and aahhs. It was like they had just walked in to a fancy hotel or something. I was amazed at their responses. Later I heard my husband talking to a friend on the phone. He was saying, “The house is so clean, and not just that, it’s so warm and homey.” I realized at that moment that it’s not a perfectly clean home that my husband desires. It’s a warm and hospitable environment that he longs for. I am delighted to provide that for him, because I love him.
2 comments October 10, 2008
chrissyh
Tags: family, Fireproof, home, homeschool, hospitality, Love Dare, Marriage, stay at home moms
My Love Dare Part 1
I’m doing my own version of the love dare. I want my husband to feel loved and appreciated by me. Over the past week there are two areas that I have been working on.
First, I have been working on taking care of me. The truth is, I put very little time and effort into my appearance. I have four young children that keep me busy all day long. I truly have to make time to fix myself up. Last week I dared myself to make that time, everyday. The Proverbs 31 woman (vs. 22) dressed in fine linen. This was a way of honoring her husband. I want to honor my husband by the way I dress as well.
It’s embarrassing to admit, but there have been a few times when I was walking through the grocery store and I realized I had a big stain on my shirt, or that I hadn’t run a brush through my hair that day. My thought was, “Oh Lord, please don’t let anybody recognize me!” I was embarrassed for my own sake, but also for my husband’s sake. He always takes pride in his appearance, and his wife…well, she doesn’t. I’m turning a new leaf though. I’ve been cleaning out my closet, getting rid of stained and ugly clothes, and I have been taking time to fix my hair and put on some makeup every day.
I’m not doing this just as a representative of my husband, but I think he likes coming home to a wife who looks refreshed. When my husband and I were courting, I always tried to look nice for him. Does he deserve any less now that we are married? Certainly not! If things were reversed, would I want to come home to find him in ratty sweats, a stained shirt and unshaved. No way! It’s the golden rule at work here.
The other area I am working on is being hospitable to my husband. I heard him tell a friend last night that the house was so warm and welcoming. I knew my efforts were paying off and he was starting to notice. I’ll tell you more about that later.
Add comment October 6, 2008
chrissyh
My Love Dare
I am continuing to think a lot about the movie Fireproof. It really challenged me. Over the past week I have been praying and evaluating the way that I love my husband. There are some things that I want to work on. Over the coming weeks I will be studying the Word of God about these different areas and I will post my notes here for you to read. Stay tuned..
Add comment October 3, 2008
chrissyh
Kirk Cameron Honors His Commitment
It seems everyone has a different definition of normal. For example, my husband and I went to see the movie Fireproof last weekend. You can read more about that in this week’s column. The movie stars Kirk Cameron. If you were a child in the 80s and early 90s you will remember him as Mike Seaver from the show, Growing Pains. In 1990 Cameron became a Christian and his entire worldview changed. Chelsea Noble played his on screen sweetheart and a true love connection was made. They have been married since 1991, and they have six children.
Cameron made a commitment to his wife that he would never kiss another woman, not even for the purpose of acting. So, in the movie Fireproof there is a kissing scene. However, Cameron does not kiss his co-star. His wife stepped in as the body double and did the kissing scene. To me, this seems very normal. A married man should not kiss another woman. .
I have been on several forums and websites where people are downright angry because of his choice. They are calling him names, bashing his faith and being plain old mean. They are offended because he had the audacity to make, and then to honor that commitment to his wife. They think that it simply isn’t normal and that Cameron is weird.
I am baffled. Why would anybody find Cameron’s decision anything but honorable? If Kirk Cameron is weird, then so am I. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I’m proud to be a weirdo. The world needs more of us.
3 comments October 1, 2008
chrissyh
Tags: Fireproof, Kirk Cameron, Marriage
R.I.P. Miss Fannie
Today our beloved chicken, Miss Fannie, departed this world. Her life was cut short by the actions of an overly active Boxer puppy. Miss Fannie was a good chicken, a little Cochin bantam. We raised her from a day old chick. We got her by accident, when she somehow she ended up in our box of Black Stars. She was our favorite from the very beginning. She was beautiful and feisty. Her squawk was quite distinguishable and we knew it anywhere. She kept us laughing with her egg hiding antics. Once I was in the garage and she scared me half to death when she popped out of a plant pot with a loud squawk, followed by a thud. She dropped her egg and fled. That was Miss Fannie. Always on the go.
The farm won’t be the same without you, Miss Fannie. You are irreplaceable. May you Rest in peace.
Add comment September 29, 2008
chrissyh
Stress Decreasing
I have made an observation in my life. Anyone who knows me, knows that I struggle in the area of organization and housekeeping. It just doesn’t come natural to me. Recently, things have been pretty bad. My house has just been cluttered and truthfully, it drives me nuts. But, I just don’t know where to begin sometimes.
So, I’ve been talking to my friends about it and asking for advice. My Pastor’s wife told me that she basically cleans in every spare moment she has. Part of me cringed inside. I don’t want to spend every spare moment cleaning! I decided to give it a shot though and slowly, I am climbing out from under the mess. My husband is starting to notice the difference and my burden is starting to feel lighter.
Here’s the biggest thing that I notice. Yes, I am tired when I sit down to rest, but I am also much more relaxed. When the house is in calamity, I never truly relax. I always feel guilty and I’m always noticing “fires” that need to be put out. I’m feeling less and less like that everyday. My stress level is decreasing and I feel more able to enjoy the blessings in my life.
I don’t ever want to get buried under a mess again. Please, Lord, help me to stay on top of things.
Add comment September 23, 2008
chrissyh
Tags: Add new tag, clutter, family, housekeeping, life
Fireproof in theaters September 26th
My husband and I have a date Friday night. We are going to see the movie Fireproof. This movie is about a couple on the verge of divorce. The husband heeds his father’s advice and decides to wait 40 days before going through with it. During that time he strives to learn how to love his wife and win her heart back. To me, it looks to be a beautiful love story. I can’t wait to see it. 
Add comment September 21, 2008
chrissyh
Internal Editor Banished
Hello. I’m blogging! I have to admit, I’ve tried blogging before. I generally delete everything and abandon the site after a few weeks. But this time, I won’t quit. I really mean it! I am going to ignore my internal editor and just write from my heart. You are welcome to read my thoughts, but don’t expect them to be blemish free. I don’t have any big, world changing thoughts today, but I will share a conversation I just had with my five-year-old son, who is adopted.
Son: Mommy, where did you get me?
Me:(shocked becasue he’s never asked anything like this) What do you mean? Where do you think I got you?
Son: One day I saw you and all your kids and I wanted you to come get me, so you did.
Me:(Thinking “He was 10 months old. How can he remember?) Well, son, God gave you to us.”
Son:(Smiling real big) I came from God?
Me: Yep, you sure did!
Son to his big sister: You came from the hospital. I came from God!
1 comment September 19, 2008
chrissyh
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